Today I woke up in a lovely, smiley, serene mood. It's been less than two weeks since my STBX (soon to be ex-husband) left, taking with him the chaos and emotional violence my family had lived with for four months. When we changed the locks that same day, there was an immediate sense of safety, but peace can be a bit harder to find among the rubble and memories he left behind.
Right now almost anything different than what I associate with him is good and healthy. I have been listening to old mix CDs that hold favorite songs from the time before I knew him - an audio only version of some of the videos I've been posting. I reorganized our bedroom and am now working on other areas of the house. We are broke but far from broken - and fixing to build a stronger life.
One of the songs I am listening to is Vapour Trail by Ride. It's a lush, ethereal, forlorn sort of song, but it doesn't make me sad. I am heartened by the reminder that my STBX is finally gone, leaving only a vapor trail that is already dissolving.
Ride - Vapour Trail
.:Çésar:.™® | MySpace Video
We Gotta Get You a Woman by Todd Rundgren (1970).
I Saw the Light by Todd Rundgren (1972).
Hello It's Me by Todd Rundgren (1972).
Cold Morning Light by Todd Rundgren (1972).
It Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference by Todd Rundgren (1972).
Can We Still Be Friends? by Todd Rundgren (1978).
Time Heals (1981).
Weather with You by Crowded House (1991).
No Blue Skies by Lloyd Cole (1990).
Wicked Game by Chris Isaak (1989).
Blue Skies by Eva Cassidy (1996).
What a Wonderful World by Eva Cassidy and Katie Melua (2008).
Pick Yourself Up by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers (1936).
Special by Garbage (1998).
The Whole of the Moon by the Waterboys (1985).
Empty Me by Chris Sligh (2008).
So Long Self by Mercy Me (2006).
Here's Where the Story Ends by the Sundays (1990).
Broken by Lighthouse (2009).
God Shaped Hole by Plumb (1999).
The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King (1970).
Love and Regret by Deacon Blue (1989).
Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue (1989).
My Book by the Beautiful South (1990).
A Little Time by the Beautiful South (1990).
Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars (2005).
This Woman's Work by Kate Bush (1989).
Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (1980).
Reptile by the Church (1988).
Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello (1979).
Tears Run Rings by Marc Almond (1987).
Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (1984).
Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John (1973).
Last Time Forever by Squeeze (1985).
Conjure Me by the Afghan Whigs (1992).
Debonair by the Afghan Whigs (1993).
Hallelujah by Jason Castro (2009).
Total Recall by the Sound (1985).
Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).
Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).
It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).