Wednesday, October 28, 2009

T Party Express: I Can See a Distant Victory

Plenty of years ago, I had a boyfriend who was several years my junior. At that time, it was the biggest age discrepancy in my dating experience where I represented the older half of the relationship. We shared many interests in common and he became serious quickly – more quickly than either of us anticipated.

Then reality set in, in the form of my young son. The boyfriend didn't want to share me with Chris and, although he decided I was close to his ideal woman, he realized he was too immature to be a stepfather and bailed. I thought we broke up for good. He thought we were taking a break until he grew into stepfatherhood.

For the next ten years, he kept me on a short leash, checking in periodically to keep his memory fresh in my mind and make certain I didn't form another serious relationship. His dog-in-the-manger strategy was largely successful and it took a long time for my heart to heal. The last time he called was just before I embarked on a lunch date with my STBX (soon to be ex-husband) and I let him know I had moved on. I used to predict teasingly that he would be a bachelor for decades and one of those middle-aged first time dads. Sure enough, he married in his mid-40s and has a baby daughter. He even achieved his goal of becoming somewhat famous.

Younger guy would make me music CDs filled with odes to romantic angst and thwarted love to keep the hope alive. One of those songs was Total Recall by the Sound. Several others will probably show up as I ride the T Party Express.

Total Recall is a song suited to dreamy romantics who assume they will have ample time to revisit young love and set it right. It doesn't fit my current circumstances, but it can still make me cry buckets of tears. Tragically, singer/songwriter Adrian Borland of the Sound committed suicide at age 41, which adds the gloss of legend to an otherwise obscure band from the New Wave era.

The lyrics reference a "distant victory" when the singer will reunite with his lost love. As a Christ follower, distant victory for me is synonymous with salvation from death. Things change.

Previous stops:

Fly by Jars of Clay (2002).

Train in Vain by the Clash (1980).

It's My Life by Talk Talk (1984).

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