Once upon a time, children, there was a conservative man named Ronald. He had lots of wonderful ideas and he was very good at explaining them. Ronald spent many years telling people about his plans to make
After Ronald went away, some people tried to repeat his success, but they didn’t understand why he was so successful. Some people thought Ronald was just a good talker, but they didn’t follow Ronald’s conservative plans and they failed. Then a man named Bill came along. He was a good talker but not conservative. Bill became the new leader. When Bill got
After a few years, the followers forgot Ronald’s conservative ideas and why they worked so well. They stopped telling people about conservative ideas. They stopped making conservative plans. Other people who never liked Ronald’s plans lied about how successful they were. Americans started to forget Ronald’s conservative ideas and why they worked so well.
Then a man named George came along and he had his own ideas. Some of George’s plans were conservative, but some were not conservative at all. George’s followers told the American people that he was like Ronald, but George’s plans were very different from Ronald’s. People got confused about what it meant to be a conservative. George was very bad at explaining his ideas.
There was a man named Rush who was one of Ronald’s smartest and most loyal followers, and he was very good at explaining conservative ideas. But Rush really liked his job and did not want to take Ronald’s job.
Ronald’s followers looked everywhere for a conservative leader, but nobody came forward. One day they found a man named Fred who shared Ronald’s conservative ideas and was good at explaining them. Ronald’s conservative followers begged him and begged him, and Fred finally agreed to try out for Ronald’s job as leader of
Other people were trying out for the job of leader, too, but Fred’s ideas and plans were the most conservative. Fred wanted to turn
Other people said Fred didn’t really want to be the new leader. Some of those people didn’t agree with Fred or were afraid that he would be successful. They did not want another conservative leader like Ronald. They wanted Fred to stop trying out for the job of leader. But Fred kept trying and he kept explaining his conservative ideas.
Lots of Ronald’s followers agreed with Fred’s ideas and thought his plans would turn
Fred stayed true to Ronald’s conservative ideas, but Ronald’s followers did not. Then the followers blamed Fred because they did not have a leader.
Fred learned that you cannot lead
And that, children, is how your parents ruined conservatism. It will be much, much harder for you to turn America around, but you can start by reading about Ronald.
Next time I will tell you about the olden days when SUVs roamed the earth, the government had a pension program called Social Security, our private health care system was the envy of the world, and America was the most magnificent superpower mankind has ever known.