Did You Hear the One about Dennis Miller?

This Friday the 13th was an unlucky day for fans of funnyman Dennis Miller whose eponymous CNBC show aired for the final time. In an unscientific poll, 75% of my household ranked the Dennis Miller show the sharpest, funniest TV infotainment of the 21st century – and the other 25% is my deaf brother, who is still trying to vote for Anthony Fedorov on the erroneous phone number American Idol posted in closed captions.

According to news reports, Dennis was informed of the pending cancellation and headed for the emergency exit so fast he forgot to leave a forwarding address. I can relate. I was dumped only once – honestly – but my attitude was, “Hey, you don’t want to be with me? Your loss. Taxi!” This is southern California, where we drive our cars to the neighborhood fitness center and circle the parking lot to get a space closest to the entrance, so I made that last part up.

Coincidentally, Rita Cosby just left Fox News Channel over a contract dispute. Before he got the call from CNBC, Miller had a Friday gig on FNC’s Hannity and Colmes. Rita’s departure leaves two hours of weekend programming Roger Ailes needs to fill PDQ. For months I have been pimping for Fox to give my man Hugh Hewitt a new media forum as CNBC did for Miller. If not Hugh, then why not Dennis again? During its all-too-brief run, Dennis Miller the show featured most of my internet-friendly favorites as guests (see the margin on the left side of this screen).

Meanwhile, Comedy Central might be seeking a placeholder for the AWOL Dave Chappelle, whom 75% of my household ranked as the top comedian of 2004-2005, while the other 25% is still trying to decipher Dave's most frequently closed-captioned word, ni**er. Dennis is the only contemporary American comic with the wit, guts, honesty and political incorrectness to equal Chappelle. We wish Dave a complete recovery.

Which reminds me. Isn’t ABC considering a new show to replace Nightline? Too bad they already wasted the title Politically Incorrect on Bill Maher.