Here’s a presidential riddle. He’s a homely man, tall and lanky. In polite society, his wife is considered eccentric and even unstable. He is the Commander-in-Chief during a wartime period of intense national polarization. Who is he?
Well, he’s not John Kerry, thank God, although Kerry did earn enough votes to qualify as president of almost half a country. Surely he deserves something to show for his decades-long preparation for the position. Let’s give him Canada. With all the frozen tundra, there’s probably only half a country there anyway. He could show off his prep school French and hang out with other like-minded expatriates.
Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the elegant statesmanship of John Kerry’s concession speech. He was way more prompt and gracious than Al Gore. At this rate of progress, Hillary Clinton will concede in October 2008. Seriously, I do feel their pain. I have had my heart broken by more than one election gone awry. In fact, I am in such a charitable mood that I have some advice for the Kerrys and their sad, increasingly irrelevant party.
After winning the hearts of Europeans, tyrants and terrorists, I cannot imagine Kerry being content now to walk behind Teddy Kennedy and pick up his swizzle sticks. Maybe CBS will give Mr. K and Mrs. H-K their own reality shows. While he looked downright unnatural in his sporting poses, the camera (and late night comedians) seemed to love her. He could take spring training with the Red Sox a la George Plimpton’s Paper Lion. The Curt Schilling beanball episode would be must-see-TV. Teresa and Denise Rich could star in a grumpy old women version of The Simple Life, the show where two wealthy, pampered females divested of their material resources try to survive in the heartland on their wits alone. Call it Red State Blues.
Although it must seem paltry consolation, Kerry can always return to his part-time job in the Congress, which, along with the mainstream media and academia, is one of the few safe havens left for liberals. Take a look at the 2004 map of red and blue counties. The blue pockets are shrinking. As he retires from the Senate, Zell Miller is the last of the blue dog Democrats with a red state sensibility. There are moderate Democrats in the House and the Senate but none with any real authority.
Some moderate Democrat voices are saying their party should refocus on traditional American values. Good. If you mean it, study the examples of Joe Lieberman and Evan Bayh. We’ll be watching your actions to see if they match your words. We’ll be waiting to see who your friends are.
Some extremist Democrat voices are threatening to leave the country. Good riddance. If you really want to help your party, follow Michael Moore and Larry Flynt out the door. Take George Soros with you. Under their controlling influence, the Democrat Party has become the party of hate, condescension, and intolerance.
On Tuesday, November 2, 2004, a majority of the American people sent a unified message. Liberal candidates can run outside of their limited domain, but they cannot hide their true nature and intentions from the rest of us. The liberal media cannot hide their skewed agenda and disdain for the rest of us. The contempt is mutual.
This may be your final warning.