Hey, Kids, Let's Throw a Party - a Conservative Party!

In 1992, disaffected populists left the GOP to start the grassroots Reform Party. They're baaaaaaack -- but now, with their enemies lists and conspiracy theories targeting conservatives, they are hijacking the Republican Party that I love.

The Libertarians had their chance and the best they could muster is Ron Paul. So ... let's form our own party. A national conservative party.

Seriously.

We could call it the Conservative Republicans of America Party (CRAP). Or not. I'm open to suggestions.

Let's take back what it means to be a true conservative. We'll have an entrance exam -- and it will be in English. We will welcome all genuine conservatives, regardless of faith, heritage or gender.

And we will draft Fred Thompson as our first nominee -- if necessary, as a write-in candidate -- so that our country will have the true conservative alternative to the two Democrat parties in November 2008 that we all deserve.

Do I hear a second to my motion? Can I get an amen?

How Your Parents Ruined Conservatism

Once upon a time, children, there was a conservative man named Ronald. He had lots of wonderful ideas and he was very good at explaining them. Ronald spent many years telling people about his plans to make America better. When America got into trouble, people finally gave Ronald a chance to prove that his plans could work. Ronald was such a great leader and his plans worked so well that many of his conservative ideas were accepted by people all over the world.

After Ronald went away, some people tried to repeat his success, but they didn’t understand why he was so successful. Some people thought Ronald was just a good talker, but they didn’t follow Ronald’s conservative plans and they failed. Then a man named Bill came along. He was a good talker but not conservative. Bill became the new leader. When Bill got America into trouble again, Ronald’s conservative followers asked for a chance to prove they could make his plans work. The American people gave Ronald’s conservative followers a chance and their plans did work – for awhile.

After a few years, the followers forgot Ronald’s conservative ideas and why they worked so well. They stopped telling people about conservative ideas. They stopped making conservative plans. Other people who never liked Ronald’s plans lied about how successful they were. Americans started to forget Ronald’s conservative ideas and why they worked so well.

Then a man named George came along and he had his own ideas. Some of George’s plans were conservative, but some were not conservative at all. George’s followers told the American people that he was like Ronald, but George’s plans were very different from Ronald’s. People got confused about what it meant to be a conservative. George was very bad at explaining his ideas. America started to get into trouble again, but now there were very few conservative leaders left to turn America around.

There was a man named Rush who was one of Ronald’s smartest and most loyal followers, and he was very good at explaining conservative ideas. But Rush really liked his job and did not want to take Ronald’s job.

Ronald’s followers looked everywhere for a conservative leader, but nobody came forward. One day they found a man named Fred who shared Ronald’s conservative ideas and was good at explaining them. Ronald’s conservative followers begged him and begged him, and Fred finally agreed to try out for Ronald’s job as leader of America.

Other people were trying out for the job of leader, too, but Fred’s ideas and plans were the most conservative. Fred wanted to turn America around and knew he was the best person to do it, but he didn’t like some of the silly things he had to do to become the leader of America. He compared those silly things to a circus. Many sensible people agreed with Fred.

Other people said Fred didn’t really want to be the new leader. Some of those people didn’t agree with Fred or were afraid that he would be successful. They did not want another conservative leader like Ronald. They wanted Fred to stop trying out for the job of leader. But Fred kept trying and he kept explaining his conservative ideas.

Lots of Ronald’s followers agreed with Fred’s ideas and thought his plans would turn America around. But they did not support Fred and they did not help him become the leader. Instead, they supported others who were not very conservative at all. They supported others who pretended to be conservative. They supported some who had helped get America in trouble again.

Fred stayed true to Ronald’s conservative ideas, but Ronald’s followers did not. Then the followers blamed Fred because they did not have a leader.

Fred learned that you cannot lead America back to conservatism if conservatives will not follow what they know is right.

And that, children, is how your parents ruined conservatism. It will be much, much harder for you to turn America around, but you can start by reading about Ronald.

Next time I will tell you about the olden days when SUVs roamed the earth, the government had a pension program called Social Security, our private health care system was the envy of the world, and America was the most magnificent superpower mankind has ever known.

The End

Fred Thompson: Strength. Conviction. Honesty.

Why Rush Limbaugh Should Endorse Fred Thompson Now (and Break His Own 11th Commandment)

Rush Limbaugh is, arguably, the most influential conservative Republican of the post-Reagan/post-Buckley era – someone whose support is essential to any GOP presidential nominee and the next GOP president. If you doubt his impact, check Mike Huckabee's poll numbers since Rush responded over the airwaves two weeks ago to ill-considered insults hurled at him by the Huckabee campaign.

Since his national emergence in 1988, Rush has pledged never to endorse any Republican candidate during the presidential primaries. In 2007, he seemed to come close to breaking his own 11th commandment twice. First, he identified Fred Thompson as the only conservative participant in the CNN/YouTube GOP debate and defended Thompson against charges of laziness. Then Rush commended Mitt Romney's speech on faith, although he also criticized Romney's less-than-conservative record and his Iowa debate comment about not losing any sleep over the tax burden on upper income Americans.

Limbaugh may not issue official un-endorsements, either, but attentive listeners can easily discern his sympathies and antipathies. Among the top tier candidates, he has been completely positive about Thompson. Conversely, John McCain is a longstanding target of Limbaugh’s disdain. In a 2004 Wall Street Journal opinion piece about the conservative themes running through convention speeches given that summer by McCain, Giuliani, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rush characterized McCain as the most liberal of the trio. He also lauded Giuliani for taking “on John Kerry directly, detailing his equivocations and flip-flops on matters of war and peace, and pointing out how such indecision and expediency endanger America's security” (please see http://www.opinionjournal.com/editorial/feature.html?id=110005563).

However, if Limbaugh holds fast to his illusion of impartiality in the 2008 primaries, his reward might well be the nomination of Senator McCain.

Romney is, I believe, a fatally flawed candidate. Regrettably, Giuliani’s aforementioned warnings about Kerry’s flip-flopping and expediency apply likewise to Mitt Romney. The GOP base is divided among those who hope Romney means what he says today, those who are skeptical of his Clintonesque glibness, and those who will never vote for a Mormon. Significantly, he is clearly disliked by his GOP opponents.

Giuliani appears Clintonesque in his personal life, holds social beliefs unacceptable to evangelicals, and his Florida-centric campaign strategy may be his political downfall. If so, where will his supporters go? He has expressed admiration for McCain and ostensibly could endorse him.

Conceivably, Huckabee would continue through the primaries as a spoiler, buoyed by his evangelical base. Thompson seems like the natural beneficiary of a Huckabee collapse. Nevertheless, as Huckabee’s Iowa support was seen to decline, Romney and McCain also enjoyed increased poll numbers there.

The only criticisms published of Fred Thompson are personal (the “laziness” charge that is belied by his current campaign schedule and his resumé) and strategic (his late entry into the race). His conservative credentials are widely heralded and stand in stark relief against the records and positions of his “moderate” competitors.

If Thompson fails to finish well in Iowa and New Hampshire, he probably skips Michigan and enters South Carolina with a substantial disadvantage, politically and financially, from which it will be extremely difficult to recover. Thompson endorsed John McCain in the 2000 presidential race and it is no great stretch to imagine that he will endorse McCain again if he drops out.

That would be a death blow to the conservative movement of Buckley, Goldwater, Reagan, and Limbaugh, which has not had a genuine conservative nominee since 1984. More importantly, the conservative principles Thompson would bring back to the White House are needed desperately to win the war on fiscal irresponsibility, win the war on our borders, and win the war on terrorism as they steadfastly won the Cold War.

If Limbaugh were to endorse Thompson this week before the Hawkeye cauci, single-handedly Rush could return the national conversation to conservative vs. liberal ideology, overturn the conventional wisdom so beloved by beltway and drive-by media types, and spurn the McCain surge. In a battle of wits, ideas, principles, integrity, and gravitas, Fred Thompson is best armed to lead us to victory.

[cross posted at Red State]

I Write the Songs That Make Hasselhoff Cry

It's official: American Idol is launching its first songwriting contest with details today at USA Today and more to follow at the AI songwriting site.

According to Iain Pirie of 19 Entertainment, the objective is to find undiscovered songwriting talent in the same way AI elevates singers from obscurity. He says. "You can literally imagine a 50-year-old mom sitting in her living room with a portable keyboard, coming up with a great song."

That's me! I am a 50-year-old mom and I spend lots of time in my living room recliner on a portable keyboard. Seriously, though, I am a frustrated songwriter and I do plan to enter the contest.

Please vote for me!

ETA: Oops! I didn't enter after all. My son decided not to sing on my demo and I couldn't scrounge up another good singer to record my composition before the deadline. The pros and semi-pros in bands and with access to studios really have an advantage over 50-year-old moms sitting in their living rooms.